So do not fear, for I am with you;

do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:10 (NIV)

If I were to describe Mark’s mom, Etna Marie Blumberg, the words that come to mind are spunky, fun, Southern, a huge Tiger’s fan (University of Memphis), lover of her boys and grandchildren, faithful to her Christian faith, and wanting to do the right thing. Her beloved husband left her unexpectedly as the result of a heart attack 43 years ago and she has never let a day go by without being both annoyed that he left her so early and yearning to join him in her heavenly home. At the age of 94, she finally got her wish.

We traveled to Memphis this week to celebrate her home-going. She wanted a simple graveside service but the weather pushed everything inside. Her hope and her legacy was her absolute lack of fear of the future. In fact, she embraced it with such hope and determination that when the end finally came, we all rejoiced with her, even though we will miss her so much.

One of the songs played at her service was “Be Not Afraid.” The chorus says it all:

 Be not afraid.

I go before you always.

Come follow me, and

I will give you rest.

       Rest well, dear Mom, Grandmom, and Etna.

Day is done, gone the sun,
From the hills, from the lake,
From the skies.
All is well, safely rest,
God is nigh.

Go to sleep, peaceful sleep,
May the soldier or sailor,
God keep.
On the land or the deep,
Safe in sleep.

Do those words look familiar? Probably not but the tune is enduring — Taps. As the strains of the bugler played the familiar melody at Dad’s funeral this week, tears streamed down my face. Serving in the Navy for over two years active duty followed by twenty years in the reserves, I grew up watching my dad proudly honor and respect his country. In fact the only request that he mentioned was to be sure and have the Navy Hymn played at his funeral.

We woke up to a rainy, gray day. I prayed that God might bring let the sun shine for Dad’s service. Dad was of the greatest generation and always dressed in coat and tie so it was fitting that all the guys in the family wear patriotic ties. The casket was simply covered with an American flag. Family and friends gathered under the canopy.

His pastor led the graveside service interspersed with remembrances and anecdotes by his children, grandchildren, and great granddaughter. Punctuated by the full military honors that he received, the hills reverberated wiht the pops of the rifles by the honor guard, the haunting melody of TAPS, and the folding and presentation of the flag to me are etched forever in my memory. Perhaps, it was the releasing of the doves that gave closure for me. I know that Dad has been set free from the brokenness and pain of his body and has flown into the arms of Jesus.

For everything there is a season,

    a time for every activity under heaven.

A time to be born and a time to die.

    A time to plant and a time to harvest.

A time to cry and a time to laugh.

    A time to grieve and a time to dance.

Ecclesiastes 3:1,2,4 (NLT)

Remember my prayer? The light shone down as the flag was unfurled and displayed before us.

Yes, God is good.

Rest in peace, Dad.

And after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you.   I Peter 5:10

I feel like I’m picking through a war scene at my house or juggling 10 plates in the air at one time. But the good news is the funeral service is just about all planned. Dad will have a graveside service with full military honors next Wednesday at 11 AM. He will be buried next to my mom.

I got home late on Monday night, but of course, woke up early yesterday and started in. I picked up Parker and she was sick all day. Mark is still in Memphis with his mom. In fact, he will fly to Burbank the day before the funeral to join us. Finding all the right papers for the military option proved to be a challenge but eventually, all of the pieces fell into place.

Mel and Andy have been so helpful, each in their own way. There were a few moments when I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to get it all done, but God is faithful and my kids were right there. Mark has been a real stabilizer through all this.

When I realized I didn’t have to get this done overnight and have the service this weekend, I relaxed. Now I have the gift of time to catch up with rest: physically, emotionally, and mentally. Thank you, Lord.

The month of April has been a blur, often feeling like I’m in limbo, never standing on firm ground. I look back over the journey and know that God is there and took Dad in his own time. He waited until his grandson completed his course of training and graduated last Friday. Dad “graduated” on Monday morning. His course complete.

I know the strains of the Navy Hymn will bring tears as do memories of his last words to me. I am thankful for a dad, even though cranky at times, who loved Jesus, loved my mom, and loved me.

Because of God’s tender mercy,

    the morning light from heaven is about to break upon us,

to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death,

    and to guide us to the path of peace.

Luke 1:78-79 (NLT)

I love holidays and dressed my house with the Easter decorations in early March. We started practicing music for the different services of Holy Week and then I got a phone call on Thursday before Palm Sunday. My dad was in the hospital and needed me to come.

Suddenly, all those plans flew out the window and we piled in the car not knowing what to expect. My kids drove down from the Bay Area and met us at the hospital. As we walked into Dad’s room, I knew he was on the last leg of his journey here on earth. My world expanded as I learned about hospice, skilled nursing facilities, and shepherding Dad and the rest of the family through the process.

I’m learning that death is a process, much like giving birth. The beginning of life arrives unexpectedly as a result of birth pangs and delivery with much celebration. While the end of life edges slowly but surely to a different kind of celebration or “graduation” accompanied by sorrow and grief for those left behind.

However, it is not without grand moments.

Dad goes back in time and then becomes confused with the present. I know he is seeing beyond our time and space dimensions. He mentioned the other morning that “painters” had fill his room during the night, in fact one stood right next to his bed. He said he went up 300 feet into the cold air and then he asked me if he was imagining it. I told him he was but I wonder if a heavenly host was filling his room that night, in their white robes like “painters.”

He reaches out for for the unseen and then pulls his hand back. It’s a mystery to us but I know he is in the in-between time.

On Good Friday, I thought about Jesus’ process of dying. I’m so grateful that the grave was not His final resting place nor will it be ours. We may grieve for a while but Sunday’s coming!

You go before me and follow me.

You place your hand of blessing on my head.

Psalm 139:5 (NLT)

Grandparent’s Day has been on the calendar for months. The grandgirlies’ school celebrates grandparents every other year and we missed it the last time. But with all three in school together, it was a perfect time for us to visit.

However, the dreaded depression invaded our lives and Mark found himself in and out of the pit over the last two months. He decided to stay home but I headed to California by myself to see all the grandgirlies. I was also going to babysit overnight so that my daughter and son-in-law could attend a retreat.

As the miles ticked off, the weight of the unknown at home slowly dissipated, and the joy and excitement of anticipation kicked in. I listened to my audio book, stopped for Starbucks, and enjoyed the desert wildflowers as I drove, arriving in Pasadena for the overnight and dinner with my dad.

The next morning, I headed north as the sun was peaking over the mountains. Once, I arrived, it knew it was full speed ahead.

In those two and a half days, I enjoyed special treatment at school with all the grandparents at Chapel and visits to each girl’s classroom. We had dinner with my other baby granddaughter and her parents, made the favorite French toast for breakfast, girlies/Nana shopping-lunch-movie day, and ending with devotions around the table on Sunday morning.

I felt a relaxed tiredness as I drove home but was so happy for the time with family.

I thought about God going before me as I traveled all those miles. However, not only was He my guide, He was also my rear guard. He had my back. It brought to mind a picture of important people surrounded by security. They literally encircle the person so that no one can do any harm to the one they are protecting. They take the bullet first. That is what God does for us.

And then He blesses us. What more can we ask?

During tough times, know that you are never alone. God, our Protector, is surrounding us, ready to lead or watch our back. Stick close to Him.

The LORD directs the steps of the godly. 
      

He delights in every detail of their lives. 
  

Though they stumble, they will never fall, 
      

for the LORD holds them by the hand.

Psalm 37:23-24 (NLT)

When you think about defining moments in your life, the first thing that pops into my mind are dates that I will never forget: November 22, 1963, October 17, 1989, 9/11/01. Those are the dates of John Kennedy’s assignation, the San Francisco earthquake, and the attack on the World Trade Center. Of course, there are personal dates such as birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, and weddings. Nevertheless, those tragic moments of history are sealed in my memory.

But there are also events that I know more about than I thought I ever wanted to know. I was on a Curriculum Review Committee when my daughter was a freshman in high school. It was 1987 and one of our tasks was to review AIDS education. No one knew much about it at that time. The more I learned, the more I struggled with how to impart this information to grades K-12. It was overwhelming in scope and implications for each child.

I know more about divorce than I ever wanted to know. The devastation to family, friends, and colleagues ripples out like a pebble thrown into a pond touching everything and everyone. I know why God says He hates divorce.

Now I know more about depression than I thought possible. Living with someone who suffers from this disease is like riding on a roller coaster—inching slowly up into the darkness and then whooshing down around the curves so quickly that it nearly takes your breath away. And much like that ever-twisting ride, fear of the unknown smacks you in the face.

In those defining moments of your life, you have a choice. Sometimes I would rather run and hide. Other times, I try to reason and logically figure things out. Then there are the times, I just cry, spent with worry and fear, not having a clue what to do next.

In those moments of despair—Jesus. I can’t imagine going through any of it without Him. He is there with me. He is IN me. He holds on to my hand and leads me though the minefield of my life. And, He comforts and encourages me to keep on, keeping on.

I look out over the grandeur of the Catalina Mountains from my office window and know without a doubt who is in charge:

 I lift up my eyes to the hills—

   where does my help come from?

  My help comes from the LORD,

   the Maker of heaven and earth.

Psalm 121:1-2 (NIV)

And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?

Esther 4:14 (NIV)

My oldest granddaughter, Kate, headed off to her first winter camp as a junior higher this past weekend.  We are big proponents of Christian camping, whether it is Forest Home, Mt. Hermon or Hume Lake. I accepted Christ as my Savior as a nine-year-old at Forest Home so it always warms my heart when I know one of my girlies is headed to camp.

I had to laugh as her mother related the conversation in the car as they headed to the church.

“Are you nervous?” asked Mom.

“No, I’m fine,” said Kate.

“Did you bring your Kindle or a book?”

“No, my book was too big and heavy and we can’t bring any electronic devices. If I want something to read, I’ll just read my Bible. There are lots of good stories in it,” Kate replied.

For such a time as this. I don’t know what the future holds for my sweet Kate, but I do know the world is a whole lot different from my growing up years, even that of my children. Today’s young people will encounter a world that, as grandparents, we could not even imagine:

• A cell phone that fits in your pocket rather than attached to your car or the size of a standard phone.
• Transistor radios followed by Walkmans and now iPods.
• Computers that filled a whole room, scaled down to fit on your desk. Now it fills your palm.

The digital age has changed everything. What will it look like in ten years? Yet, these young ladies and young men will be challenged to wear the mantle of leadership and responsibility for their generation. The issues they face require determination and a heart dedicated to God’s plan for their lives.

Esther was a young girl when she was plucked out of society to begin her journey. God knew that she had the courage to stand up for her people. It was a decision fraught with peril and she finally accepted her calling with, “If I perish, I perish.”

We must be praying for the future of our next generation. God is preparing them, even now, for the important role they will play in society.

We can make our plans, 

      but the LORD determines our steps.

Proverbs 16:9 (NLT)

Mark is always telling me how weird I am, which I vehemently deny. I have very ordinary and typical interests and hobbies. I like to cook and bake, go shopping, read a variety of genres, and watch murder and mayhem on TV and movies—you know…typical girl stuff. But don’t ask me anything about automobiles. I’m more interested in the trunk space than what’s under the hood.

But, I’m, also, curious and interested in learning new things. This brings up the topic of weird. Saturday, I turned on the radio, listening for a few minutes before crawling out of bed. It was the auto care program. I learned about brake pads and rotors and something with numbers that I think was the model number for a Ford truck. The service manager made a point regarding a call from a listener wanting to know how to take off some kind of locking screw on the steering column. He emphasized the importance of making that call and having a plan BEFORE you started the project if you wanted to avoid big problems.

I think that is good advice for most of life’s activities. Yes, it is easy to forge ahead without bothering to read instruction manuals and figure out the basic operation. The iPhone is a perfect example of being able to use a cell phone without much difficulty but missing the many options available to make life easier with all the shortcuts and apps.

God has so much more for us each day if we take time to get our instructions. So many times I barrel through my agenda and fall into bed that night without one thought about what God might have intended for me that day. What did I miss along the way? How might it have been a little easier?

This year I’ve committed to taking the first few minutes of the day and spending it with Him. You might think that would be a cinch, however, I must to choose to not read my email. This habit has become so ingrained I don’t even think about it and before I know it, an hour has slipped by and it’s time to get ready for the day.

I read that it takes 21 days to break a habit. I am happy to report that my email has been given second place about 80% of the time for the month of January. But the best part is that I can hardly wait to open my Bible and Jesus Calling to see what God has to say to me.

Sitting still and listening to His voice as I pray and meditate on His words has been both a challenge and a blessing. His voice is quiet and gentle, so be patient. Listen. Pray. Sing. This special time allows Him to change my plan to His, making those appointments on my calendar much more productive and satisfying. He reassures me of His presence in every aspect of my life.

I challenge you to set aside time each morning to be still with Him. Let me know how it’s going.

As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.

Proverbs 27:17 (NLT)

I received an expected gift last summer — a prayer partner. Over the years, I have heard various friends talk about their prayer partners and I found myself either rather curious or kinda jealous. I had been a Mentor Mom with MOPS for six years but how did this differ?

Our local community church began Accountability Groups last year. I listened to others talk about their experience but was on the outside looking in. Did I want to be part of one?

A friend, who lives down the street, led a Bible study last August and asked me to come. We know and respect each other but our circles didn’t overlap and we only ran into each other occasionally. Yet, at the close of the study, I felt drawn to ask her if she was in one of those groups and was she interested in starting one. It knew it was a risk but God had already smoothed the path and she readily accepted my invitation.

At our first meeting, we both realized we didn’t need a group but someone to love, listen, and pray for the needs that we experienced each week. The trial meetings quickly turned into a must-do. As we shared, cried, and laughed together, God knitted out hearts and listened to His girls. Not only did we have each other’s back in those crisis points of life, we also encouraged each other to live out our faith and keep on track with the goals God has given to each of us.

I’m so glad that God hasn’t left us stranded on a deserted island all by ourselves. The give-and-take of friendship is a gift beyond measure.

Consider taking the risk to find a girlfriend to share the deep recesses of your heart before God. Count on His blessings and bask in the love He will bring in your hearts.

Next time I’ll share how we are learning to be “still”.

Then the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people.” Luke 2:10 (NKJV)

We are in the last countdown with a couple of days before we head off to California for Christmas. Yesterday, the final performance of “Follow the Star” ended a week of rehearsals and performance. The message of the music, spoken words, and choreography encouraged and uplifted over 1100 people turning our hearts toward the true meaning of Christmas.

I’ve spent a little time reflecting on 2011. We had some starts and stops in our home, our neighborhood, our church, our country, and our world. Wars, shootings, illness, or death bring terror and I can choose to be afraid of what is coming next or I can put my hand in the hand of Jesus and hang on tight. However, I know the blessings of family and friends overshadowed all the “stops” we encountered over the months.

Fear overrides when we assume we have everything under control and then realize we don’t…not even a little bit. We are a fearful people and the Bible repeats the phrase, “Fear not” again and again for our reassurance.

The shepherds, on that long ago hill, knew all about taking care and protecting their sheep. Yet, the appearance of an angel startled them out of their reverie into heart-stopping alert.

You would think the angel’s announcement would go to the local magistrate or city councilman since the baby was the King of Kings. Maybe, the king. Today, it would be broadcast on the Internet and the whole world would instantly watch.

Yet, even as he reassured them to not be afraid, the promise of the birth of the Messiah was fulfilled that starry night and the news given to lowly shepherd boys. Jesus had a specific mission:

And she will have a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins. Matthew 1:21 (NLT)

He didn’t come take over as King this time. He came to bring us life and that life frees us from fear. It’s good news for all of us!

We’ve been preparing all month for His birthday party. Enjoy family and friends. Celebrate with great joy. Look forward to a new day as 2012 approaches. “Don’t be afraid.”

Tags: Christmas