Yes, he alone is my Rock, my rescuer, defense, and fortress—why then should I be tense with fear when troubles come?
My protection and success come from God alone. He is my refuge, a Rock where no enemy can reach me.
A few weeks ago I was fretting about how boring life was. It was the end of a long, very hot summer, and I could hardly wait for Fall to arrive. I decorated the house early, with the hope that pumpkins, in every form, would hasten the arrival of cooler weather and a new schedule of activities.
I was grateful when our women’s Bible study began. We are studying Beth Moore’s, David, Seeking a Heart Like His. One thing I really like about the Bible is that God pulls no punches when he tells David’s story. We read about the good, the bad, and the ugly. This young man, who would be king, is first ignored and then pulled out of the fields, while tending sheep, and anointed for a job he didn’t even know he wanted.
But God knew David’s heart because they had spent many an hour together while he was alone with those sheep on the hillside. The lessons he learned there would eventually become very useful as he led men and troops as King of Israel. But David had more waiting to do. It was not yet his time.
His entry on the world stage occurred when with only courage and a slingshot, a giant was taken down who had taunted the army of King Saul. He didn’t need the king’s armor because God alone was his defense. He had already wrestled with a bear and a lion while protecting the sheep. What could this one man do to him?
That boring life? It quickly changed as we’ve spent the last three weeks dealing with hospitals, doctors, surgeries, and recovery as Mark had a Deep Brain Stimulator implanted in his brain to control essential tremors in his right hand. The process complete, we now have some fine-tuning to do but the good news is that it works.
I didn’t realize, until we sat at a favorite restaurant after the doctor’s appointment to turn it on, how tense I had been. The unbidden tears of relief started to flow down my cheeks. I’d been updating friends and family through emails and I received a note from a friend that summed up exactly how I was feeling:
I so understand your tears. I’ve been there too many times, and you just don’t forget what that feels like. I’m glad you are able to let those tears fall. They are very healing, and as Mark is healing, so will you. What you have been through is exhausting physically, mentally and spiritually. It’s difficult to believe what that stress, especially trying to be the “strong” one, will exact on you. Now you can “let down” a bit, and rest.
God has sustained me each step of the way, whether sitting in the waiting room for many hours, watching over Mark as he recovered in his room, or driving almost an hour back and forth at night. He brought me encouragement through a bottle of water and pumpkin muffin brought by a friend who greeted me in the waiting room one morning. Emails, cards, and Facebook posts reminded me how much people care about both of us. And there is something about a note from someone who has been there that is so encouraging.
I can let fear and discouragement take me down, or I can choose to see that it is God alone who brings me through tough times and gives me the will and courage to make it through another day. My inclination is to wrestle in this type of situation and see if I can control the outcome. But I’m learning that the little word in the middle of wrestle – rest – is what God wants me to do. He is my refuge and rock. He will take care of me…and I can rest in His success.